Where To Begin?!??

Posted by: cheryl

It has been a while, but life has been very busy.  On October 2,, 2017 I had my second ablation for afib.  So far it is relatively ok.   A week later I was in the hospital for  6 days because of a 178 heart rate that would not come down with meds.  I was finally electrically cardioverted.  Have had a couple short spells since.  That in itself is enough to disturb anyone's sanity.
Before I really get started tho, understand this fact:  I love my husband and family with every part of my being......but I am so frustrated with everyone and everything that I have not been able to get good rest and sometimes dread trying to fall asleep. 
It started with the ablation then on Thanksgiving I was feeling pretty good, we watched the boys while their parents went deer hunting.  I guess I took too much on at one time - because since then I have not slept well.  Also around that time I caught a cold from the youngest grandson.  It hung on for a couple weeks, then the son was sick with strep throat.  I barely felt good enough to take care of myself, but the added stress of having another person sick in the house sure didnt help.  He missed a week's work because of that.  He finally felt like going to work last Monday, but then on Wednesday morning he called before 8 a.m. and said he was in so much pain that he didn't know if he could make it home.  I was sitting in my truck waiting on him when he arrived.  A trip to the ER confirmed what we suspected -- a 4mm kidney stone.......On the way down there he puked in my truck 3 times.  In the room waiting on the DR he puked 3 more times because of the intense pain.  Well they gave him pain pills, antibiotics,anti-nausea meds and  relaxer for his stone problem and sent us home.   It is now Sunday- 5 days later and that stone still has not come out......plus it is causing him pain.  It is very stressful to watch your child in so much pain and discomfort and not be able to fix it.  Plus the fact that I am concerned about his missing 2 weeks work without pay and wondering how he will pay his bills.  Also I have to think about being to handle the stress that taking the son to the ER causes me right now and I do not need any added stress at this time.
Now to Ritzy---he has a very bad habit of not listening to me.  I ask him to stop at a certain place (mainly because I have done the research and know what I am talking about)  and he completely ignores my suggestion and does it his way and gets the wrong product.  FRUSTRATION!!!
Tonight I go into the kitchen and find a paper plate with a pickle and a fork on it laying on the counter.  Also the cereal bowl with dried milk and a spoon in it sitting on the cabinet also.   WHY!!
how hard is it to rinse out the bowl that was sitting by the sink, and throw away the paper plate???
Are you kidding me????
I am so tired of all the sick that has been in this house for the last 3 weeks......of people not taking me seriously........or helping out a little.......hear the frustration????
No wonder I have not been able to fall and stay asleep for the last month................
I thought if I just let it all out here maybe I could get a good night's rest which i so desperately need. 
The daughter is adding a little to it by questioning my intelligence about letting the boys drink after me.  She actually thinks I would let that happen knowing I am still recovering from that nasty cold.....REALLY????
It just keeps piling up..........I have not had the chance to see the boys because I have had to stay around the house in case the son needs help, which is where I need to be. 
I need for me to start feeling like ni-maw again, for the son to pass this kidney stone, for Ritzy to start listening to me, and the daughter to stop questioning my intelligence.  Whether that all happens, I have no idea.................but this one thing I do know is I am mom and I will do everything in my power with God's help and guidance to help my family.
Ritzywife out....................................................

EXPECTATIONS..............

Posted by: cheryl

...............a belief that someone  will or should achieve something.
When you apply for a job, what the company or person your are working for should lay out their expectations of your performance.  That is only fair.  They are paying you to do what they expect to be done in that job plus you know upfront what your expectations are.  You then have the choice to either accept or reject the job offer.
BUT..............in a relationship with friends or family it is a whole different ballgame.  I would be willing to say that 99% of the time 2 people enter into a relationship without either party knowing what the other's "expectations" are of that person.  So....that person  is let known their "expectations" after the fact - after they have failed to meet the other's pre-conceived ideas on how they should act or talk.
That, my friends is wrong in so many ways!!!
A marriage is supposed to mirror Christ's relationship with His church.  We are not supposed to put expectations on our mate, our equal.  We are supposed to love our mate,, protect the relationship at all costs, and show respect for the other person...........and the biggie-----FORGIVE!!!    When one of these areas fail, they all do!!!!      How many times do I have to forgive you might wonder..............as many times as it takes... is what God's word says..............We don't have the right to be that  person's judge and jury.    Christ won that right by dying on the cross for ALL!!!!   
When we  forgive it doesn't let them off the hook, so to say.  It just releases our hold on the situation so God can do his work in both our lives.  Besides.....how's  not  forgiving working for ya???
What we should be doing is asking ourselves------Am I being the spouse God expects me to be?!?
What does God expect of me????  Well if you are the husband----He expects you to be the leader of the family.......and don't get on your high horse here......He expects you to lead your family like Christ led His church.........by service...(ouch)......By being a servant-leader, by being the example of serving, loving, forgiving............what ever it takes.  When you do that, your family can't help but give you the RESPECT you deserve.   If you are the wife..............He expects you to support and respect the husband's role as "leader".   But that is so hard or impossible  to do when each party is only thinking of themselves and unwilling to forgive or only focus on what the other spouse is doing wrong, instead of focusing on  themselves  and how they can be what God expects of them.  An ugly cycle gets started until one or both persons decides to break it before it breaks them and their relationship or family.......
Don't be the judge..........turn your spouse over to God and let Him do the  work.  If you are always putting your words out there ........how in the world do you expect your mate to hear God???
BOTTOM LINE:   
Get rid of your selfish pride and be the spouse God called you to be............ what ALL of this stems from - PRIDE......It's what sent Satan to hell for eternity.  Must be a biggie for God then.  When we start saying I expect this, I deserve that, I , I, I------the middle letter of  S.I.N. !!
Do you want your spouse to support, love, respect, and honor you????  Then let go of the pride and focus on what  God expects of each of you and your marriage and family!!!!!
Just my thoughts on this day........
Ritzywife out......................................................................................................



Busy. Busy. Busy.....

Posted by: cheryl

Since the last post, that's how it has been around here.
We all finally got over whatever it was we all  had.  The boys finished Pre-K and will be starting Kindergarten in a month......where has the summer break gone????
I did not get to even go fishing because the lake flooded and it is just now back to normal.
I have been trying to recover from all the things brought on by my ablation from last November.  I am finally starting to feel like Ni-maw/Ritzywife.....I just have to watch it and not become overly stressed or tired.
My Dr. and I decided it was time to get me off the Lexapro that I have been on for the last 10 years.  I started taking it because of the so called "panic attacks"  I was having.  We have since realized those were a-fib episodes and not panic at all.  I have been taking half of a pill for almost a month.  He said I could probably stop by the time of my next appointment which is this coming Monday.  That is just fine with me.  The less medication, the better......plus i have read that anti-depressants can cause arrhythmia so I am glad to soon be off this.
Our garden had a lot to be desired this year.  Nothing produced.  Ritzy and I were talking about getting the soil tested......maybe it is worn out......or................starting a new garden spot to let that area rest.  Thank goodness for good neighbors that give us some of their bounty.  A couple of them gave us some onions and cucumbers.  I just sliced some of each and put vinegar on them.  They are in the refrigerator now............a cousin sends home zucchini with the son.   gonna bake some in the oven tonight....yum......
Ritzy and I are hoping to be able to start building a new house in the coming months.  It will be on the same land the current house is on..... just further up the hill because of better drainage there.
I have the plan drawn up and my brother is figuring out all the materials needed.
It will be a family affair.  The only thing we don't do is pour and finish the slab.
Nothing fancy or huge.  I don't do fancy..... and years ago when I cleaned houses I realized that the more house you have---the more you have to clean :-)
 I took Braedy and Calvin to see Spiderman yesterday.  It was a surprise, they didn't know I was even coming over.     I always take a goodie bag for each of them.....WE had a good time.....the movie was about over and I heard Calvin crying and looking under his seat.  I got him, calmed him down and asked what was wrong, well... he had lost his beef jerky...........I told him not to worry cause Ni-maw had extra.   That made everything ok again ;-)
Took them to Whataburger then home.  I stayed and watched the three boys while mama mowed the lawn.
Luckily I had put chicken in the crock pot before I left and there wasn't much to do to finish supper when I got back home.......
I am taking it easy today,, as you can tell..............
Ritzywife out.......................................................








Well, That's Dumb.................

Posted by: cheryl

Yeah, that's what I was told by my grandson yesterday.  Now the story behind it.
The boys have been battling a cold/allergies the past week and yesterday seemed to be the worst day.  Braedy & Calvin were coughing, running fever and not feeling well.  The baby, Dawson sounded croupy.  Keri (the daughter and their mama) had been texting me about what was going on.  I decided to go there after church to help out.
She ended up taking Braedy, who had gotten an earache Saturday......and Dawson who sounded horrible and just not himself to the ER.  I stayed at the house with Calvin while daddy finished a homework paper.
After a couple hours Keri called and asked if I could come pick Braedy up because he was getting restless.   Turns out that Braedy had fluid on his ear and was given antibiotics.     Poor little Dawson had received one breathing treatment and was having to wait and see if another one was needed.  So.....Calvin and I go pick up Braedy.   We started back to their house and I heard Braedy ask Calvin what he and I had done.  Calvin told him  that Ni-maw sat on the couch while he was on his tablet.......then I heard Braedy say in the softest voice...now Calvin, it's not nice to lie...what did you really do.  At this point I interrupted and told Braedy that his brother was right.....that I just sat on the couch "doing nothing" while his brother played games on his tablet.  Braedy's response was........."Well Ni-maw.....that's just dumb"....I lost it - Hahahaha!!!!  I started laughing and Braedy couldn't figure out why it was so funny.  This 5 year old could not imagine just sitting and doing nothing....  I told him that someday he would realize that sitting and doing nothing is quite fun:-)
Well after 5 hours and 2 breathing treatments, Keri and Dawson returned home.  He sounded so much better and looked like he felt better.  I talked to her today and everyone got a decent night's sleep and had a pretty good day today.  Thank you Lord!!
Now, I have whatever it is they have.....stuffy nose, cough,.....you get the picture......YUK!!!!
I am going there tomorrow to check up on everyone.....
It's getting late for this Ni-maw so ...Ritzywife out..................................

It's Been A While

Posted by: cheryl

Since I last posted a lot has gone on......I went in for the SVT ablation.  After "mapping" where the extra heartbeats were coming from the Dr. told me to just rest while he went to the computer to control my heart rate and rhythm.  That was an odd feeling.  After finishing he discussed the outcome with me.   My problems were coming from the AV node......the hearts natural pacemaker...... if he ablated that a pacemaker would be necessary for a heartbeat.  Neither he nor I was ready to go to that extreme at this time.  We decided to just carry on with the healing process and try to medicate.  I still feel those extra beats and I have to be careful and not get overly tired because that seems to set them off.
I still have had to take it easy for a couple of weeks while the sites he used to perform the study have healed.
I still have not gone fishing yet.  The lake came up because of rain, but my neighbor and my brother have provided us with the fresh crappie.  YUMM!!!!
My brother brought 15 of them by Sunday night and 4 last night.  I do not mind cleaning them at all :-)
The boys are growing like weeds.......Braedy and Calvin are learning so much at school and Dawson is almost walking.  It is an awesome privilege watching them grow up.   They love watching movies with me....and Ni-maw loves it too.   Thanks to Ni-maw and Uncle Matt they are hooked on "Mission Impossible" movies and they are always singing the theme song.  Their mama told me yesterday they are about to drive her nuts singing that all the time.  I just laughed but she failed to see the humor in it.
In a couple of weeks we are all going to see Guardians of the Galaxy.  That is another movie Uncle Matt and I have got them interested in......
 They love music and they love movies......Their daddy took them on an adventure last Saturday.....it was very educational and fun.  They "worked cattle".....if you don't know what the term means well here goes...........they gave the cattle vaccination shots, castrated the male calves, and branded them......now you know......
They also rode horses, fished and had a fun day on my son-in-law's Aunt's farm.  I love that they are getting these life experiences.
Yesterday I went over to the boy's house to help their mama who was exhausted from just doing mama duties.  I took the fixin's to cook ham and beans for our and their dinner.  I watched to boys while mama rested, gave mama a neck massage, put Dawson to sleep, then went and laid down with boys till they fell asleep.  I assured them I wasn't going anywhere while they were asleep.  Well I had to get up and "watch" the beans cooking and was sitting in a chair when the Calvin woke up and I heard "Ni-maw"......i assured him I was in the living room and in he came.   A few minutes later Braedy woke and I heard "Ni-maw".....I assured him I was still there and in the living room....In he came and got my lap.  They are 5 years old and still want to  get in my lap, which is just fine with me.....
I have some chicken thawing right now.  Chicken & noodles are on the menu for tonight's dinner/supper.
 Speaking of the evening meal.........the son, his cousin and I all had a discussion about dinner/supper the other night.  I grew up with it being called supper, you ate breakfast, dinner and supper.
Now its breakfast , lunch, dinner.     I guess it all depends where and when you grew up as to what you learned to call it. 
With that Ritzywife is out.......................................................


Almost Spring.................

Posted by: cheryl

I can hardly wait.  Everything is getting so green and some of the early Spring flowers and trees are blooming.  I love it!
I have had a Dr. appt since last post.  My cardiologist talked to me about what the Holter monitor showed.  Svt's......he said that could be taken care of with another ablation.  I asked him about having afib plus svt's.  he informed me that the Svt's were the probable cause of the afib.  I told him to go for it.  Well I am scheduled for the ablation on March 30th, will spend night in hospital and go home on March 31st......my birthday........I told the nurse that was just fine because I want to get this taken care of......I have been doing better..still feel the extra beats but not nearly as bad as before.
Little Dawson is doing great too.  He is crawling everywhere.  It is so fun watching him.  He loves hearing Ritzywife/Ni-maw sing.  Always brings a smile to his face and to my heart.  When I am talking to his mom on the phone she says he is waiting for me to sing to him.  I love it!!!!
The boys are loving pre-school.  They are becoming young men.  They turned 5 at the end of February.  5.......wow....for their birthday Ritzy and I got them each a Galaxy Tablet and I am thinking that was a very good investment.  It settles them down for a while when mama needs a break  plus they learn so much.  Thumbs up Ni-maw!
Dawson's 1st birthday will be here in May.  I already have his gifts taken care of. 
Hope he likes them ;-)
I haven't started fishing yet.  Waiting on the water temperature to warm up a bit.  This ablation is bad timing for fishing but I want it done.....I'm sure I will get some fish one way or another.....
It's beautiful outside today and I am going to try to spend as much time as possible out there.  I hate cold cloudy days, which we have had a lot of since the first of the month.  Everyone have a great day!
Ritzywife out....................................

Better.............But Not There Yet

Posted by: cheryl

Yeah, that's how it's going.  I am feeling somewhat better.  Dr's office called and said extra heartbeats were detected on monitor.......which is very normal after the procedure I had done.   Dr told me to take a pill in morning plus the one i was already taking in the evening.  I have been feeling like there is a lump in my throat for the past few days because of the extra/skipped beats.  The past couple of days have been better...........or i have gotten used to it....who knows?!?
Our 8 month old grandson Dawson had surgery the 7th to correct a kidney/ureter problem that was detected before he was born.  We were all there waiting for the 3 hour surgery to be over.  The Dr came out and informed us that it went exceptionally well and he was very pleased.  Thank You Lord!!!!  Ritzy and I hung around the rest of the day until about 6 when Dawson was finally starting to be himself again.  I went back yesterday because mommy, the daughter, was not feeling well...a stomach bug or something......well, what we thought was going to be a 3-4 night stay turned out to be only an overnight stay because of how well Dawson was recovering.  He never cried, he was happy with the dr's and nurses, playing in his little bed and just being a happy baby.  Everyone that took care of him told us he was one of the happiest babies they had ever cared for.
Nana, the daddy's mom took care of his brothers, the twins...Braedy & Calvin......while all this was going on.  They were happy to have mommy, daddy and little brother home yesterday.
Dawson has to go back to hospital in 4 weeks for a very short procedure to take the stent.....which the Dr informed us was the size of  3-4 hairs......out.   Then in 6 weeks to have a scan done to make sure everything is working properly.  Yesterday, you would have never suspected Dawson had underwent surgery the day before.....
I haven't heard from mommy this morning to see how she is doing.   I am gonna get in touch with her in a bit to see how things are going.   Daddy took the week off to help out, but if Ritzywife/Ni-maw is needed you know where I'll be.  I loaded the crockpot with pork, potatoes, and carrots for dinner tonight, so Ritzy and the son won't starve.................
Ritzywife out..............................................................................


SOMETHING ALWAYS TRYING TO STEAL OUR HOPE......

Posted by: cheryl

That's right, my last post was full of hope and anticipation. The next day started out just fine but by the afternoon I noticed the heart trying to have palpatations.  You see, I had caught a cold/or flu around the first of the year and it was beginning to work on the progress of the ablation healing.  These past 10 days have not been the best.  I finally went to the ER on the advice of a neighbor who is also a nurse,  Saturday because the palpatations had stopped but there was a very irregular beat.
They informed me that all this was probably happening because of the viral infection.  You see viral infections and a heart healing from cardiac ablation do no go well together.  
 Just as Ritzy and I were starting out the room I started having horrible palpitations.   Everyone came back in, hooked me up to the machine so they could get a "picture" of it happening in real time.  The ER Dr. called Tulsa where my Dr. happened to be on call.  He suggested I come down there to get a Holter monitor for 24 hours.  Mind you......this is during the ice storm......thankfully the roads were not icy.  Well we did that and I proceeded to wear the monitor til Sunday at 4pm.  I had some episodes while wearing that and hope it tells Dr. Milton what is going on.  I had been in contact with his nurse a couple of times informing her of what was  happening. 
I sure hope it is just this virus messing with things.  I still feel weak, I assume because of being so sick and down for the past10 days.  I had not been able to see the grandsons during that time and that was wearing on me ,The fact I was doing so good and then this setback was wearing on me, and........ my not being able to be there for my daughter when she needs a break.......... ...TIMES LIKE THIS CAN  DO A LOT TO A PERSON'S STATE OF MIND.....I still have a cough, am getting plenty of liquids and rest.  I just want to be ME again!!!!!!
H. O. P. E....it's still there, buried deep sometimes.  I still try to get in touch with it every day.  Going outside and sitting in my swing helps the most.......and seeing sunshine.  Have not been able to do either since that weekend storm.  I need sun and fresh air!!!
Ritzy and I took the monitor back yesterday, hoping that would let Dr Milton see it ASAP.  I now await a call from his nurse telling me what is going on.  He said the ablation was a success and I have to believe he knows what he is talking about.  I have heard from many others that he is a very good Dr. and knows his business.  My confidence is not in him tho, it is in God who provided him. 
I am going to take it very easy until this passes.  I told Ritzy that I was sorry about all the housework and cooking I am unable to do right now, but I just need the rest to get back to being Ritzywife and Ni-maw........
Here's to a better week, month, year, life!!
Ritzywife out..............................................

 

A NEW YEAR.......A NEW HOPE.......

Posted by: cheryl

2016 is in the books.......Welcome 2017.  I am always a  little sad to see the holidays come to a close.  I love the excitement of looking forward to the family gatherings, watching the grand kids open Christmas gifts, ringing in the new year with loved ones and so on.....but I am also glad to welcome a new year.
This past Christmas was awesome.  Watching Braedy and Calvin open gifts on Christmas night was so much fun.  Seeing the excitement and anticipation in their eyes was priceless!!
Baby brother Dawson was just as happy as he could be with the bow.....he'll learn....
Every year I get to wondering what to get everyone for gifts, but everything always comes into place and they are all well pleased with what Santa brought them.....Yes, Ritzywife still believes in Santa!!
Christmas was a little different this year because of what is going on with my Dad.  No...we still don't know what exactly what is going on.   He is still "paranoid' about certain things, tells us about events that didn't happen or going to happen.  My poor mom is having a hard time getting any rest because Dad us usually hollering at her wondering where she is..  I told her at this point that Dad is like a child.  Told her to sleep when he sleeps....
I have been making enough supper for us and them and been running it up there or just staying up there to eat.
As for myself....these past few weeks have been good............finally!!!  I feel better with no issues.  I hope to continue the healing.  Saw my DR. and he said everything was going as planned.  That was a big relief.ahhh........
I made soup last night.....Ritzy took some over to our neighbor who owns the convenience store and ate with him while I took some up to mom and dad's and ate with them......In a while I am taking some over to the Keri's so she and the boys and I can eat lunch.  They love Ni-maw's soup!!!
On tonight's menu is Frito chili pie.  Making the chili at Keri's, then bringing enough home to feed my guys and mom and dad and the neighbor.
The baby, Dawson is beginning to crawl..It is so much fun watching him realize he is no longer immobile.  
Rityzwife out..........................................................