How We Deal With Grief

Posted by: cheryl

This past week to 10 days has been pretty busy.  My sister-in- law (brother's wife) lost her mother yesterday afternoon.  But you know, she had her family all around her and she just went very peacefully. 
The sad thing is -  just a year ago this woman found out she had lung cancer.  This is someone who never smoked a day of her life.  A short while later she had surgery to remove the cancer, which the doctors thought they did.  But this summer she started not feeling well and only a few weeks ago she was not able to eat and just started going downhill.  Went to the doctor and found that the cancer was everywhere.  Only about a week ago she came home after a short stay in the hospital for some radiation treatments......and by Thursday she was gone.  I could not believe how fast her situation changed.  You see,  I have known my sister-in-law and her family all my life.  We kind of "grew-up' together.
The good thing in all of this is that she had her family all around her as she passed.  Of course it was very hard on them, but they know that she loved them and  she knew that they loved her.  To me, that is the most important thing in our lives --- to tell our loved ones how we feel and not "hold it in"..thinking that it somehow shows "weakness" on our part if we show any type of emotion.........I told my nephews that it was just fine to show those emotions,  because we are emotional's just part of who we are!
Through all of this, I have gotten a chance to get closer to the youngest nephew ( he is 15)..... When I decided to leave last nite, I gave him a big hug and told him that if he needed to talk, he knew how to reach me.  He grabbed my things and  walked me out to my truck.  We hugged again and he said he had something to tell me....he said "You are my favorite aunt"......  Oh my goodness, that about made my heart melt ;-)
I told him how much that meant to me and said I was glad I could be there for him and his family.
My sister-in-law and her brother now have the difficult task of finalizing the arrangements for her mother's service.  I will have the honor of playing the piano at her "Celebration of Life" service.  I also made a Movie DVD of her life and that nephew (who has just recently started taking guitar lessons) played the background music. A beautiful song -- "Will The Circle Be Unbroken".  He was playing that one night while I was over there and I told him that he ought to play that at her service or as background to the DVD.   It took us a little while  to get all those pictures scanned and the music just right, but we got that DVD all finished.
I made copies for all the family so they could have something to watch and remember their "Granny" by.
After all of this, I was pretty tired last night.  I got home around 10.  After taking my bath I got into bed,   looked at  a few magazines and went to sleep.  I haven't slept that good in a long time.  I am quite sure that everyone in my brother's home slept good too.  They have been "on alert" since this started over a week ago.  The other night we were all talking and my brother was (whining, haha!!) about wanting a peach cobbler and his middle son was talking about the cinnamon rolls he had come and picked up at my house the other night, and that youngest son was talking about pie also.  So, yesterday when I went over there I took some apples, my apple peeler, and the "stuff" needed to make an apple cobbler.  I got it made and set it on the stove and I think everyone's mouth was watering.  Around 3 or so we ate lunch and then everyone  "attacked" that cobbler.  My brother made the comment that the next time I had better make a much larger one cause that one went way too fast, haha!!!!  I am just glad they liked it~!
There is a house that is for sale next to their property and that youngest nephew is trying to talk Ritzy and I into buying it cause he would have Ritzywife's cooking very close by.  hahaha!!!!!  I think the brother would like it too cause he was trying to "bargain" with me the other night.  It got so bad that he said he would change the oil and filter in my truck for a pie.   I'm thinking I just need to show him how to make one, hehe!!
Speaking of baking, I have some sourdough in there that is going to be used to make some sourdough cinnamon rolls after while.  YUMM, I can hardly wait!!!!!  Yeah, my two guys here have been kind of neglected, but they understood what was going on.  I put a chicken in the crockpot yesterday and it was done by the time they got home.   They both said it was good.....
Gee, I had more on my mind than I realized.....That being said.......Ritzywife is out!!

This entry was posted on Friday, October 22, 2010 . You can leave a response and follow any responses to this entry through the Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom) .


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