A little back story......
In June 2017 my Dr and I decided it was time for me to taper off the antidepressant Lexapro that I had been on for the past 13 years.  The reason I was put on it was that  I was experiencing what the Dr thought was panic attacks.  Even tho taking the drug I still had one once in a while.  But in June 2015 when I was in the ER for what I thought was anxiety, the attendant looked at the monitor and casually said " oh, you have a-fib".....that was the first time i had ever heard of a-fib.  I then realized that I never had anxiety or panic attacks all those years.  I spent the past 3 years dealing with the a-fib and was finally starting to feel normal again but was still taking the Lexapro.  In June I tapered off the drug over a 4 week period, which the Dr suggested.  At the end of July 2017 -  2 weeks after taking my last dose of the drug I was in the hospital because of another a-fib attack.  They raised my heart medicine dosage.  While there,  for the first time I experienced what I know now to be brain zaps and neck tremors.  I told the nurses but they really didn't do anything.  These zaps continued for about a week, then stopped.  I noticed last summer that my vision was changing.  It was harder to focus at a distance.  I just assumed it was due to my age.  I noticed tinnitus coming and going.  I noticed I had brain fog where it was hard to really concentrate on anything.  This was not like me at all and I knew it, but I just attributed it to the higher dose of heart medication, plus the new one added.  Fast forward to February 2018 when one day the tinnitus started and it has not stopped since.  Then one night a month or so later as I was about to drift off to sleep, I felt a strange sensation in my head that jolted me to wake up and made me think : what in the world was that?  Around the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays in 2017 I also experienced horrible insomnia. 
Well in June 2018 I started experiencing the brain zaps accompanied by lightheaded feelings or slight dizziness off an on several times a day, feelings of being off balance,  and this is still going on as of today August 14, 2018.  This is so frustrating.  Along with this comes bouts of crying, muscle twitching, it is horrible.
I have tried to tell my Dr that I believe I am experiencing a delayed withdrawal from the Lexapro but she just looked at me funny and said, "No you would have been over that in 2 weeks".......well everything I have read tells me  that I came off that drug way too fast.  For the length of time I was on it...it should have taken at least 2 years to come off it.   I am so angry right now, first because I never needed the drug to begin with because those were not anxiety attacks, they were a-fib episodes.  Second, the Dr did not have a clue as to how coming off this antidepressant so fast would affect me.
I have since learned thru reading a lot of information out there that I am 99.9% certain that what I have been and am experiencing now is due to antidepressant withdrawal.    Withdrawal is  real,  people!!  Do not take these drugs!!!
Now, here I am dealing with this every day.  It invades my life, my relationships, every thing about me.  Now ...................to the real story..................
On Thursday August 3, 2018 I decided to go to Sam's and get a few things plus pick up some things for the daughter and her family.  I went to her home,  put the stuff up and debated on whether to take the twins with me to my house to put my stuff up and come back or make room in her refrigerator.  I did the latter.  The boys were asking to come to my house and in the back of my mind I was working out a scenario where that might be possible.  I then took all of us out to eat, we came back and I was getting ready to go home.  The boys and I were at the table and they were asking to come home with me.  At first I said no, but they asked a few more times. Their mom perceived this as "whining"
 All their mom said at this point was that Nimaw had said "no".  She got up at some point to change the baby's diaper and then I grabbed Braedy's hands and said " You know boys, Nimaw has had to say no so many times the past 3 years....I am just going to change my mind and say yes today"  you should have seen the joy in their faces.  They asked their mom and  at some point mom said " I never said you couldn't go"....so I just assumed it was ok. so I said "ok boys let's get
 Nimaw's stuff and go.   Immediately their mom/my daughter gets up and starts talking about why they shouldn't get to go.  I just dropped my head, because ....remember all this stuff I have been dealing with the past year and the zaps get worse in stressful times......I was torn because although she led me and the boys to believe we were going, she starts saying why they shouldn't.  After a minute, I said "I'm sorry guys, but I have to do what mama wants".  They really really started crying at this time because all we knew was at first it was ok, now all of a sudden it was not ok.  The boys and I were confused.
The boys asked me why I said they couldn't go with me and then I said something that started a fury coming out of my daughter that frankly scared me and upset the boys.  Mind you I have been dealing with this brain fog, brain zaps etc.....I either said " it was mom's fault" or "mom was the reason" they could not go with me.... only meaning that they were going to have to take it up with their mom as to why they were not getting to go with Nimaw.  But she lit into me and would not give it up, even after I told her that I just could not do this right now and to please take it up later when I could think clearer.  But no.....she thinks that I intentionally demeaned and usurped her in front of her boys.  The boys beat me out to my truck, they were upset, but I told them that mama said no but also,  I could not leave them that upset.  I was trying to calm them down when mom came out.  They asked me again if they could go and i said " only if mama says you can"......she tried to engage in another argument accusing me of what she thinks I did, but i would not engage, i just repeated "only if mom says you can"  I did that one more time and she said ok.  She gave me a hug, the boys and I went to my house, they played for a few hours then Ritzy and I took them home.  I am "mom" and I can always tell when something is up.  When we got to the boys home, the daughter and son-in-law were acting strange , not much was said.  The boys took their showers, we kissed and hugged them by and I thought that was it.............. NOT!!!
The next day I gad an EEG early that morning (because of this brain stuff).  Ritzy came home and mowed the yard.  I sent the daughter a text asking if we could take boys out for supper and she said "Yeah"....then immediately sent a text informing me that she and the son in law need to have a "talk" with us.  I quickly found out this was far from over.  You will not believe the amount of and the length of texts she has sent to me...... She will not get over the fact that since I said what I said, no matter the reason, it was wrong and I was wrong to do it.  Needless to say, taking the boys out was no longer an option.   **as of today I have not seen or heard from my grand kids in 12 days**......I then get a text from the son in law the next day informing us that "visits with the kiddos would not be appropriate until this matter is discussed and we have met a common ground"  Also receiving a message telling me " i was absolutely insulting and distasteful suggesting the fact that it was not fair to use those precious grand kids as pawns"   and in same message he accused me of being "responsible for the complete and utter disrespect and undermining of his wife".....who is my daughter...by the way......... accusing me of things I would NEVER do!!!! Talk about getting the rug pulled put from under you!!!! All I could do at this point was cry...........  She refuses to look at the circumstances, the context, or anything else that had an influence on why I used  those words. Even tho I have apologized more than once for the way those words made her feel.  Had I intentionally said those words or meant them with malice, I would have to own my part in being wrong as she states and it would be all my fault.......But what she and the son in law are accusing me of  never entered my mind as i was saying those words.   She and the son in law thinks everything is always "black and white"  there are no gray areas.   Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of "black and white" areas in our lives, but there are also just as many gray areas also.   I have tried to tell her that we must always look at the context in which something is said, or we will misread people all the time.  Since I have been guilty of that very thing in the past, I can only pray that she realizes this.  Even in God's word, we have to look at the context in which it is written.  How do you think all these different religions got started?
Instead of looking at her part in this, (not saying no in the first place and then questioning my motive)  she thinks it is simple....what i said was outright wrong and what she, the mom, said was right, no matter the circumstances......I agree that what I said would be wrong if I had said it intentionally, out of anger, or with an ulterior motive.   But it just wasn't that way, because of the way I was feeling, those were the only words I could think of.....at first I told her that I could not discuss anything until my head cleared up for fear of saying the wrong thing the wrong way.  Last week I texted her and said go ahead with meeting, no matter what because not seeing grand kids is killing me.  I even told her that I would just agree with her just to get this over with, but in my heart I would be lying to her and myself by doing that.  She informed me that she did not want that..... So here it is almost 2 weeks later and Ritzy and I are still waiting on them to set up that meeting, which by the way ....the other grandparents do not seem to be held to.......and that hurts!!!  I even saw the twins  on Facebook with the other grandmother....talk about a low blow.
Ritzy and I have sacrificed our resources, our time, our lives a lot of the time when it was not convenient for us,  for these kids and grandkids to help out any way we can....the other grandparents come around when it is convenient for them......and we are questioned about our motives.   WOW!!!!
Ritzywife out................................................