Taking Control.....

Posted by: cheryl

My last post was heartbreaking...to me anyways.  My daughter and I had been dealing with a huge misunderstanding and  I just didn't know how to make it better.  But God.........that always turns out good.  We were in Sunday School class on August 19 and were talking about God's grace adn how he shows it to us when we do not deserve it.  I explained that I try to teach my grandsons about "grace" when I could be executing punishment.  Sometimes you get their attention by showing grace instead and they are more willing to listen to what you have to say.  Well, we get home from church, have our lunch, then Ritzy and I start talking about the situation and what we can do about it.  He tells me that his friend with whom he has bible study with every Sunday over at the store was telling him that since he is the leader of this family that is somewhat in his control as to how this all plays out.  Ritzy goes outside and I start thinking and praying.  I recall the lesson, the sermon, what Ritzy and I just discussed and some Bible scriptures.   God reminded me that I was able to show those grandkids grace and mercy so why couldn't I do the same to the son-in-law and daughter........that was hard...... I then made the conscious decision to forgive my son-in-law for all the hurt he has caused my daughter, thus causing me to hurt.  I make the decision to tell him I am sorry for the things that she may have told me that could have been exaggerated about him, even tho at the time her hurt was very real.  I made the decision to just plainly tell her I was sorry for what I said.   I call Ritzy in and told him what I had just decided and told him it was time to go talk to these adult kids of ours.  It was up to us to lead by example, we were after all the more mature adults here.  To show grace and mercy just like we have been shown God's grace and mercy. 
Ritzy calls and it will be 8 o'clock before they can see us so we wait and go down there.  We prayed before we left that God would take this situation and work it for His good.  We get there and it was such a joy to see those precious grandkids again.  We waited til the kids went to bed then we started talking.  Ritzy had something to say first, then I started by telling Keri that I was sorry for what I said.  I proceeded to tell Steven that first of all... I forgave him for all the things done or words said that have caused pain to my daughter.  I asked him if I was correct in stating that he was not innocent in all this and he did not deny it.  Then I explained to him that I was sorry for the wrong impression I had of him because of the things my daughter had told me.  At first he did not understand this "forgiveness"....I explained it like this--I am showing you grace by forgiving the acts you actually committed against my daughter and I am showing you mercy by not clobbering you for those acts.  Thats how it works!
After talking he said he felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.....I told him that's exactly how it should feel.  We then were able to talk thru some concerns we all had.  Ritzy and I reassured them that we all want the same goal when it comes to the kids.  We just may go about it a different way than the parents tho, and we need the freedom to do that.  We gave them our support as a married couple and as a family.  I reminded Steven  that when my child hurts, I hurt......and yes I reassured him that he was my child also.
After a little while it was getting late so Ritzy and I  reassured them of our love and support, we said our goodbyes and left.  **The boys asked if I would come to their room before I left and I promised I would.  I went in there, they were almost asleep. but I gave each one a hug, a kiss and told them that Ni-maw loved them, not knowing if they would even remember my coming in there.  I asked Keri to tell them the next morning that I did in fact keep my promise, but they remembered anyway....**
No we can never forget the wrongs done against us or those we love, but we can get to a place where those things do not have a hold on us any longer and that is a wonderful place to be!!!  I just pray that we all understand fully what it means to forgive and to be forgiven one day.  
Ritzywife out...................................

This entry was posted on Friday, August 31, 2018 . You can leave a response and follow any responses to this entry through the Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom) .


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