I don't know how else to describe the feeling.  It happened Friday afternoon.  I had gone to Tulsa to visit the daughter and those precious babies.  When I arrived, the daughter and hubby were with the boys.  I joined them for a while.  While in the NICU  they were trying to soothe Braedy and get his pacifier to stay in.  They were using a cloth diaper to prop it in his mouth and I made the comment that maybe that might not be a good idea to leave a loose cloth close to the baby's face.......but they were determined to do it anyways.  Well the nurse came over, rolled up the cloth and placed it under the pad the baby was on.  I had let the incident go.  But.............later that afternoon in the daughter's room the son-in-law proceeds to tell me that they did not appreciate my interfering and would not be open to any advice in the future.  They wanted to make their own mistakes raising their kids.  I just about felt the floor drop from under me.  I am someone who has made it a point not to stand in their way, or tell them how to do things with these new babies.  I could not believe what I was hearing.  What they were saying is something that should never be said to anyone!!!!!  The fact that they thought I needed to be informed of this is what really hurt!!  I did not get mad but, I was devastated........I spent the next hour or so not saying anything for fear I would come across as being bossy according to them.  They have put me in a difficult position--one where I will not be able to say or do anything around them or those babies because I might offend them.  And they cannot understand why I would feel this way.  They want the freedom to express their feelings without dealing with the consequences of how it makes the other person feel.    I told the daughter I was not going to "walk on eggshells" around her or anyone else.  They could take me as I am or not at all.  I also told her I would not be back, and I would not be coming to their home when the babies get to come home.  But..........if she needs me, all she has to do is ask and I would be there for her.  I guess this is what you would call the "straw that broke the camel's back".  I feel now that they are their own family and they will have to deal with their own problems without leaning on mom so much.  They even told me that I am the one who has been and is always there for them and why they thought they had to tell me all this is beyond me.  All I know is it hurt then and it still hurts.  I was telling Ritzy and my mom that I don't even feel like I have any grandkids right now.  I want to be there with them and for them...... and now I have been put in the position that I can't do or say anything. 
I just hope all this works out soon.............Ritzywife out!