Obedience Tested

Posted by: cheryl

I was on Facebook this morning and ran across a friend's post.  It had this quote from Dr. David Jeremiah on his page:

This is so true.. It made me think back to a situation that was going on in my life a couple weeks ago. My previous post was about the arrival of that beautiful granddaughter.  Well the month  and especially the week leading up to her arrival were really stressful for me, Ni-maw/Ritzywife, as I will try to explain here.
Her Nana (son-in-law's) mother had scheduled a baby shower for May 5, 2018.  That was awesome.......... except for the fact it was going to be held at the Catoosa Hard Rock Hotel and Casino.   When I first heard it might be there, I had informed the daughter that her Granny and Aunts and even I would probably not attend due it it's location.  I was having a real problem with this........I would go back and forth in my head trying to justify going to a casino hotel.  Hey, this was my daughter's baby shower, after all......to saying to myself  - Ritzywife you know who you are and what you stand for....this is not a good idea and it is just wrong for you to be a part of it.  I had voiced concerns about the struggle to a couple friends at church and asked for their prayers about the situation.  Mainly for the daughter to understand that I had to stand up for what I believed, and that I could forgive myself for seemingly "deserting" my daughter.  You see the dilemna...
It had come down to a few days before the shower......I went to the daughter's house to talk to her about my concerns.  During the talk I was in tears because I was so upset and not wanting to hurt her in the process.....She tried to justify that the hotel was a different building.... but I told her that God sees them one and the same, and that's how I have to look at them.  I also tried to explain to her that situations like this are how we as Christians begin to lose our impact or voice in this fallen world......we slowly start to give in to seemingly harmless actions and before you know it.....we look no different from the world......which leaves me to wonder......what am I standing for and what am I standing against??  After talking, she and I came to a point where we respected each others opinion and we were "ok".

The other women, mother-in-law included, did not have a problem with the location because this is just part of their lifestyle......and these are all women who profess Christ in their lives.....makes you wonder........exactly my point to my daughter
i just cannot quite wrap my head around that way of thinking/living.....Gods word even says that it is not possible to profess Christ yet live like the world at the same time.........and all I am saying here is ----i know this would NOT be the right thing for me to do and that is all that matters!
Well, during our conversation that day Keri made the offhand remark that even she might not be able to attend her own shower because of the way she was feeling.  God was already at work!
Friday her dad and I went to help with last minute details and she was having contractions.  I told her to go to the er while we watched  Dawson and picked up the twins from school.  She returned home saying she was supposed to take it easy until Monday the 7th which was the scheduled c-section.
The shower was the next day at 2 p.m.
At 6 a.m. the next morning I received a text from her telling me she had not slept all night and was still contracting. I advised her to go to the er.  Well she left everyone at home and drove herself.   While at the er she was texting me that she was still going to the shower and I could not get an easy feeling about that at all.  I finally told her that I would take her because I did not feel comfortable about her condition and driving.   I had not slept good at all, either....spent the night praying about this situation, mama, and baby girl. 
Well, she calls and says Dr told her this baby girl was gonna make her appearance today May 5th ....the day of that shower that I was having this personal/spiritual crisis about. THANK YOU LORD!!!
The son and I arrive at the hospital at the same time that "dad" arrives.....He barely makes it because a couple minutes later little Ayris Anne Fuller was born.

 * Ritzy decides that morning to go into his office to get  some paperwork done.. I tell him before he leaves that it might not be a good idea because I have a feeling a baby is coming today, but he goes anyway.    I call him after she is born and he is actually surprised...........*

During all of this, in the back of my mind I was thinking about how God had taken care of this whole situation for me and Keri, that I had trusted Him for the outcome, although I had no idea how it would come about.  I personally feel that my obedience was being tested, and it was painful because I felt like I was letting my daughter down........but God.......the best ending to any of our situations in life ever!
Ritzywife out...........................................................................................

*I have thought about asking Keri this question  "Knowing me and what I believe.........Which would  have surprised you more.............. that I would go or that I would not go to that casino for your baby shower?"*

 

Love, Mom

Posted by: cheryl

Happy Mother's Day 2018!!
Being a mom is one of, if not the most rewarding/frustrating experiences you will ever have.  It is so rewarding in the fact that you see your kids grow and mature and become responsible adults with their own kids.  On the other hand it is frustrating in the fact that they sometimes don't want to listen to "Mom" and her experienced wisdom......the frustrating part is watching them go thru hard times either because of their own choosing or circumstances out of their control.
A Mother's love for her child is the strongest bond here on this Earth..  you don't believe me...just try messing with one of her kids....or grandkids....:-)
Either way I would not trade being a mom for anything in this world.
We have a new granddaughter...yippee....a girl, among all those boys.  She arrived last Saturday, May 5, 2018......and I might add...she is a beauty!  Her name is Ayris Anne Fuller.
Her big brothers adore her.  She is not going to have to worry about anything or anyone ever messing with her.. haha!
Here is a picture of the little doll:

 Told you she was beautiful.  This Nimaw is ready to love on and spoil her just like I have her brothers......
You can tell it is May in Oklahoma.....not by the trees and flowers blooming or
 turning green......but by all the itchy red eyes, sneezing,  and runny noses.......haha!
May and August are not the best months around these parts......but it is beautiful with all the trees leafed out and all the flowers blooming, gardens being planted, and the warm days.
It is about time to go to church.  Ritzy and I are going to church with the daughter and son-in-law this morning.  I hope everyone has a blessed day.
Ritzywife out................................................................................



r *m *i *e

Posted by: cheryl

Yeah, I know....it doesn’t make sense...but to a 6 year old Kindergartener it makes perfect sense.  We were outside with the boys yesterday when I told them I had some sidewalk chalk to “decorate” Nimaw’s sidewalk.  I watched as they created their art.  After finishing .... Calvin asked me what he drew-I guessed a “caterpillar”....which was wrong.....but I thought I saw a body and legs but it was red white and blue.  Well the “legs” were. Calvin’s name at the bottom....in my defense his letters were touching the picture and all I could see was the remaining part of the letters which looked like legs to me....haha!  He proceeded to tell me that he drew the ‘United States’ ..... I should have known since it was red white and blue...ha!  He then wrote another word beside his drawing and asked me to read it.  I looked at it and couldn’t figure it out so I asked Calvin what the word was and he said “Nimaw that is “army”........Good grief, I should have figured that one out.  He sounded it out
rm-ie....Well, there ya go ........ made perfect sense to him.
These boys are learning so much and it is amazing to watch the show!!!!  Later when P-pa and I took them home I was telling their mom about the incident and Calvin an I had a conversation about sometimes words are not spelled like they sound but that learning would come later.  Nimaw told them to keep up the learning and good work and that we were so proud of the young men they were maturing into....Grandkids are amazing!
Ritzywife out...................................

NEVER TO OLD TO LEARN

Posted by: cheryl

Thank goodness.   when we stop learning, we stop growing.   That's what this nimaw thinks anyways.
Yeah, it has been a long while.  I have been a little busy, a little lazy, just depends on the day.....
My ablation is going good.  Ritzy is doing good, the boys and school are doing great, and life is going on..
That granddaughter is coming in May and this Nimaw is so happy.  Everything is going as planned.  
This morning I was reading an article about placing kids in "timeout".  That was never an option when I was a child, because it was unheard of in the 60's.....if ya didn't listen, ya got a spanking and  that was that.  Next thing you know  my generation was raising their kids---if you spanked you risked getting a visit from child services.   We at our home still spanked, but no timeouts.  Now fast forward to our kids raising kids....Here come the timeouts.  They seldom work and everyone is miserable.  I have seen it with my own eyes.
When we expect a 5-6 year old to behave like a teen or adult....we are setting everyone up for failure.  They are behaving exactly as they should be......my daughter hates hearing me say  that.... and no it is not an excuse for their behavior.  It just puts in perspective the reasons they are doing what they do.
A lot of times kids get punishment or discipline ( and no they are NOT the same thing) because of lazy parents not wanting to invest the time and energy needed to raise wholesome mature adults in their kids.  Most of the time the kids ARE  acting their age.  It is us, the adults who are not acting our age....and that is a problem!!  It creates big problems down the road in the life of the child.   When the child misbehaves or disobeys, talk to them about it, ask why they did it and how they think they can avoid it happening again.   AND I MIGHT ADD -  I AM PREACHING TO MYSELF AS WELL!!!
I am guilty!!  This is one thing that becoming a grandparent does to/for you.  It shows the flaws in your own parenting skills and teaches you that kids are a lot smarter than you thought they were.
When we refuse to admit the fact that we could be doing something wrong or have the wrong mindset about a particular idea, we are in for trouble.   I have had to admit to my kids that I could have done things different, or I was wrong about certain ideas and yes even apologized!
It does not make you weak to admit you were wrong, it makes you human.  Only a weak person will never admit they might be wrong!!
Getting back to the "timeout's"......At a time when a child needs someone most  - they are being sent  to a corner, a room, a designated spot to be alone to try to figure out something  they have no way of comprehending......to think about what they should do or should have done to avoid the problem.  It doesn't matter how many times they have heard it......they are too young to understand and grasp!
Instead we should be talking to them, let them be frustrated, cry about it, get their feelings out, even talk to them about what their punishment should be.   A hug sure wouldn't hurt either..... 
YES - their feelings are just as real and valid  as ours!!! 
We have NO right to tell someone ---  "Well, just don't feel that way"
Our feelings are our feelings no matter what!!!
Let your kids express their frustrations, fears, and feelings....because if we don't , they get bottled up and they will come out -  someday somewhere....and it is so sad that this has to ever happen to anyone. 
 Do you want your children to feel like they can trust you and  come to you as they get older and in the frightening teenage years.....then, let them feel like they can come to you now, without your judgment!!!! 
I have heard from my own grandson -  " but mama doesn't know this or that or doesn't care about how I feel about this or that.....while nothing could be further from the truth, this is how he truly feels and his feelings are valid!!!  Taking the time to talk to this child about why he feels this way would prove to him that mama (or whoever) does care about how he feels.... but it's just easier for most parents/adults to pronounce and execute judgment!
Invest time, energy, and yes even money in your kids, people.... it is the most worthwhile and satisfying investment you will ever make!!!
And we better be asking ourselves - is this child being disciplined because of unruly behavior, outright disobedience, or simply because I was inconvenienced by their behavior.  It better NOT be the latter....because, if it is....shame on us!!!
Somewhere the cycle has to be broken or sadly it is going to continue!!
Will I be the one who breaks this nasty cycle??
Ritzywife out................................................................................................................. 
 
 


Where To Begin?!??

Posted by: cheryl

It has been a while, but life has been very busy.  On October 2,, 2017 I had my second ablation for afib.  So far it is relatively ok.   A week later I was in the hospital for  6 days because of a 178 heart rate that would not come down with meds.  I was finally electrically cardioverted.  Have had a couple short spells since.  That in itself is enough to disturb anyone's sanity.
Before I really get started tho, understand this fact:  I love my husband and family with every part of my being......but I am so frustrated with everyone and everything that I have not been able to get good rest and sometimes dread trying to fall asleep. 
It started with the ablation then on Thanksgiving I was feeling pretty good, we watched the boys while their parents went deer hunting.  I guess I took too much on at one time - because since then I have not slept well.  Also around that time I caught a cold from the youngest grandson.  It hung on for a couple weeks, then the son was sick with strep throat.  I barely felt good enough to take care of myself, but the added stress of having another person sick in the house sure didnt help.  He missed a week's work because of that.  He finally felt like going to work last Monday, but then on Wednesday morning he called before 8 a.m. and said he was in so much pain that he didn't know if he could make it home.  I was sitting in my truck waiting on him when he arrived.  A trip to the ER confirmed what we suspected -- a 4mm kidney stone.......On the way down there he puked in my truck 3 times.  In the room waiting on the DR he puked 3 more times because of the intense pain.  Well they gave him pain pills, antibiotics,anti-nausea meds and  relaxer for his stone problem and sent us home.   It is now Sunday- 5 days later and that stone still has not come out......plus it is causing him pain.  It is very stressful to watch your child in so much pain and discomfort and not be able to fix it.  Plus the fact that I am concerned about his missing 2 weeks work without pay and wondering how he will pay his bills.  Also I have to think about being to handle the stress that taking the son to the ER causes me right now and I do not need any added stress at this time.
Now to Ritzy---he has a very bad habit of not listening to me.  I ask him to stop at a certain place (mainly because I have done the research and know what I am talking about)  and he completely ignores my suggestion and does it his way and gets the wrong product.  FRUSTRATION!!!
Tonight I go into the kitchen and find a paper plate with a pickle and a fork on it laying on the counter.  Also the cereal bowl with dried milk and a spoon in it sitting on the cabinet also.   WHY!!
how hard is it to rinse out the bowl that was sitting by the sink, and throw away the paper plate???
Are you kidding me????
I am so tired of all the sick that has been in this house for the last 3 weeks......of people not taking me seriously........or helping out a little.......hear the frustration????
No wonder I have not been able to fall and stay asleep for the last month................
I thought if I just let it all out here maybe I could get a good night's rest which i so desperately need. 
The daughter is adding a little to it by questioning my intelligence about letting the boys drink after me.  She actually thinks I would let that happen knowing I am still recovering from that nasty cold.....REALLY????
It just keeps piling up..........I have not had the chance to see the boys because I have had to stay around the house in case the son needs help, which is where I need to be. 
I need for me to start feeling like ni-maw again, for the son to pass this kidney stone, for Ritzy to start listening to me, and the daughter to stop questioning my intelligence.  Whether that all happens, I have no idea.................but this one thing I do know is I am mom and I will do everything in my power with God's help and guidance to help my family.
Ritzywife out....................................................

EXPECTATIONS..............

Posted by: cheryl

...............a belief that someone  will or should achieve something.
When you apply for a job, what the company or person your are working for should lay out their expectations of your performance.  That is only fair.  They are paying you to do what they expect to be done in that job plus you know upfront what your expectations are.  You then have the choice to either accept or reject the job offer.
BUT..............in a relationship with friends or family it is a whole different ballgame.  I would be willing to say that 99% of the time 2 people enter into a relationship without either party knowing what the other's "expectations" are of that person.  So....that person  is let known their "expectations" after the fact - after they have failed to meet the other's pre-conceived ideas on how they should act or talk.
That, my friends is wrong in so many ways!!!
A marriage is supposed to mirror Christ's relationship with His church.  We are not supposed to put expectations on our mate, our equal.  We are supposed to love our mate,, protect the relationship at all costs, and show respect for the other person...........and the biggie-----FORGIVE!!!    When one of these areas fail, they all do!!!!      How many times do I have to forgive you might wonder..............as many times as it takes... is what God's word says..............We don't have the right to be that  person's judge and jury.    Christ won that right by dying on the cross for ALL!!!!   
When we  forgive it doesn't let them off the hook, so to say.  It just releases our hold on the situation so God can do his work in both our lives.  Besides.....how's  not  forgiving working for ya???
What we should be doing is asking ourselves------Am I being the spouse God expects me to be?!?
What does God expect of me????  Well if you are the husband----He expects you to be the leader of the family.......and don't get on your high horse here......He expects you to lead your family like Christ led His church.........by service...(ouch)......By being a servant-leader, by being the example of serving, loving, forgiving............what ever it takes.  When you do that, your family can't help but give you the RESPECT you deserve.   If you are the wife..............He expects you to support and respect the husband's role as "leader".   But that is so hard or impossible  to do when each party is only thinking of themselves and unwilling to forgive or only focus on what the other spouse is doing wrong, instead of focusing on  themselves  and how they can be what God expects of them.  An ugly cycle gets started until one or both persons decides to break it before it breaks them and their relationship or family.......
Don't be the judge..........turn your spouse over to God and let Him do the  work.  If you are always putting your words out there ........how in the world do you expect your mate to hear God???
BOTTOM LINE:   
Get rid of your selfish pride and be the spouse God called you to be............ what ALL of this stems from - PRIDE......It's what sent Satan to hell for eternity.  Must be a biggie for God then.  When we start saying I expect this, I deserve that, I , I, I------the middle letter of  S.I.N. !!
Do you want your spouse to support, love, respect, and honor you????  Then let go of the pride and focus on what  God expects of each of you and your marriage and family!!!!!
Just my thoughts on this day........
Ritzywife out......................................................................................................



Busy. Busy. Busy.....

Posted by: cheryl

Since the last post, that's how it has been around here.
We all finally got over whatever it was we all  had.  The boys finished Pre-K and will be starting Kindergarten in a month......where has the summer break gone????
I did not get to even go fishing because the lake flooded and it is just now back to normal.
I have been trying to recover from all the things brought on by my ablation from last November.  I am finally starting to feel like Ni-maw/Ritzywife.....I just have to watch it and not become overly stressed or tired.
My Dr. and I decided it was time to get me off the Lexapro that I have been on for the last 10 years.  I started taking it because of the so called "panic attacks"  I was having.  We have since realized those were a-fib episodes and not panic at all.  I have been taking half of a pill for almost a month.  He said I could probably stop by the time of my next appointment which is this coming Monday.  That is just fine with me.  The less medication, the better......plus i have read that anti-depressants can cause arrhythmia so I am glad to soon be off this.
Our garden had a lot to be desired this year.  Nothing produced.  Ritzy and I were talking about getting the soil tested......maybe it is worn out......or................starting a new garden spot to let that area rest.  Thank goodness for good neighbors that give us some of their bounty.  A couple of them gave us some onions and cucumbers.  I just sliced some of each and put vinegar on them.  They are in the refrigerator now............a cousin sends home zucchini with the son.   gonna bake some in the oven tonight....yum......
Ritzy and I are hoping to be able to start building a new house in the coming months.  It will be on the same land the current house is on..... just further up the hill because of better drainage there.
I have the plan drawn up and my brother is figuring out all the materials needed.
It will be a family affair.  The only thing we don't do is pour and finish the slab.
Nothing fancy or huge.  I don't do fancy..... and years ago when I cleaned houses I realized that the more house you have---the more you have to clean :-)
 I took Braedy and Calvin to see Spiderman yesterday.  It was a surprise, they didn't know I was even coming over.     I always take a goodie bag for each of them.....WE had a good time.....the movie was about over and I heard Calvin crying and looking under his seat.  I got him, calmed him down and asked what was wrong, well... he had lost his beef jerky...........I told him not to worry cause Ni-maw had extra.   That made everything ok again ;-)
Took them to Whataburger then home.  I stayed and watched the three boys while mama mowed the lawn.
Luckily I had put chicken in the crock pot before I left and there wasn't much to do to finish supper when I got back home.......
I am taking it easy today,, as you can tell..............
Ritzywife out.......................................................