Where To Begin?!??

Posted by: cheryl

It has been a while, but life has been very busy.  On October 2,, 2017 I had my second ablation for afib.  So far it is relatively ok.   A week later I was in the hospital for  6 days because of a 178 heart rate that would not come down with meds.  I was finally electrically cardioverted.  Have had a couple short spells since.  That in itself is enough to disturb anyone's sanity.
Before I really get started tho, understand this fact:  I love my husband and family with every part of my being......but I am so frustrated with everyone and everything that I have not been able to get good rest and sometimes dread trying to fall asleep. 
It started with the ablation then on Thanksgiving I was feeling pretty good, we watched the boys while their parents went deer hunting.  I guess I took too much on at one time - because since then I have not slept well.  Also around that time I caught a cold from the youngest grandson.  It hung on for a couple weeks, then the son was sick with strep throat.  I barely felt good enough to take care of myself, but the added stress of having another person sick in the house sure didnt help.  He missed a week's work because of that.  He finally felt like going to work last Monday, but then on Wednesday morning he called before 8 a.m. and said he was in so much pain that he didn't know if he could make it home.  I was sitting in my truck waiting on him when he arrived.  A trip to the ER confirmed what we suspected -- a 4mm kidney stone.......On the way down there he puked in my truck 3 times.  In the room waiting on the DR he puked 3 more times because of the intense pain.  Well they gave him pain pills, antibiotics,anti-nausea meds and  relaxer for his stone problem and sent us home.   It is now Sunday- 5 days later and that stone still has not come out......plus it is causing him pain.  It is very stressful to watch your child in so much pain and discomfort and not be able to fix it.  Plus the fact that I am concerned about his missing 2 weeks work without pay and wondering how he will pay his bills.  Also I have to think about being to handle the stress that taking the son to the ER causes me right now and I do not need any added stress at this time.
Now to Ritzy---he has a very bad habit of not listening to me.  I ask him to stop at a certain place (mainly because I have done the research and know what I am talking about)  and he completely ignores my suggestion and does it his way and gets the wrong product.  FRUSTRATION!!!
Tonight I go into the kitchen and find a paper plate with a pickle and a fork on it laying on the counter.  Also the cereal bowl with dried milk and a spoon in it sitting on the cabinet also.   WHY!!
how hard is it to rinse out the bowl that was sitting by the sink, and throw away the paper plate???
Are you kidding me????
I am so tired of all the sick that has been in this house for the last 3 weeks......of people not taking me seriously........or helping out a little.......hear the frustration????
No wonder I have not been able to fall and stay asleep for the last month................
I thought if I just let it all out here maybe I could get a good night's rest which i so desperately need. 
The daughter is adding a little to it by questioning my intelligence about letting the boys drink after me.  She actually thinks I would let that happen knowing I am still recovering from that nasty cold.....REALLY????
It just keeps piling up..........I have not had the chance to see the boys because I have had to stay around the house in case the son needs help, which is where I need to be. 
I need for me to start feeling like ni-maw again, for the son to pass this kidney stone, for Ritzy to start listening to me, and the daughter to stop questioning my intelligence.  Whether that all happens, I have no idea.................but this one thing I do know is I am mom and I will do everything in my power with God's help and guidance to help my family.
Ritzywife out....................................................